Man has fun while shopping!

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and Preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like Most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the Following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in Our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance Cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s
carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
Intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee To leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing Management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
Layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the Children
shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and Blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying And
screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a Mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he Asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming The
‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,Yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he Assumed
a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, Then
yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of The
clerks passed out.
"

I need help with bedtime- badly!!!

Okay, so here's the long story!
I have 3 kids: 6, 41/2, and 3yrs old. They all share the same room. There is no way to split them up- we only have 2 bedrooms.

We were bad parents, and have been giving them milk to fall asleep with. We just stopped that 2 weeks ago.

Now, bedtimes have always been a crazy, tantrum producing time. They don't settle- they play, talk, get up... I often am yelling at them many times before they fall asleep.

Now that we don't do milk, it's even crazier. They are not falling asleep until 11 or later, and having to get up early to get the oldest to school is killing them. They are soooo grumpy all day because they are tired.

So, now they have a mom who yells and is grumpy at bedtime, and then a no-fun day because everyone is grumpy.

Help!! Any good bedtime techniques that work for you? I'm at my rope's end!

On Juggling and Surfing

Written by Guest Blogger Audrey, from Kaboogie.etsy.com
Kids property of Krista! lol

As a mom of 6, I know many think my situation can't be like theirs. After all, SIX kids has to be nearly impossible! I must be insane, running to and fro like a lunatic all day! I must have some mom secret no one else has! How can I juggle a home business, homeschooling and keeping a home, not to mention keeping hubby happy? I'm SUPER mom!

Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. Or, perhaps, It is ALL true. I'm going to give you some big secrets. You won't find this in any supermarket self help book, e-newsletter or $10 e-book online. Oh, and I'm not a P.H.D. in child "anything", so you may not want to bet your life on this advice. Here is advice #1, and it's not even my advice, a friend got it from a mom of 300 in the park one day.

You're going to screw it up. Yes. Somewhere along the line, you're going to do it wrong. Now, get over it. Move on, you have too much to do to worry about whether your kids will need counseling because you didn't bring them to enough play dates or have a perfect home.
Next piece of advice. This will help you deal with advice #1.

Your kids will love you anyway. My mom always told me, if you give them equal parts love and discipline, they will be balanced. They are not keeping score, you'll just know. This brings me to the next advice.

You have to discipline your kids. They will not break. They actually appreciate knowing who is in control. This goes beyond "please don't touch that stove or run into the street." This means when you say "wait", they wait. When you say "ask me once, and don't whine", they do it because they know you mean what you say, you'll do it, on your time, when you can. This does teach them to respect other people's boundaries. This will be painful at first, but the best training I ever gave my kids was that they better not carry on once I say something. It takes longer with some than others, and consequences were quick and sometimes painful (no, not just spanking), but it works. This sounds harsh, but things run smoothly when, 1. they do as they are told immediately and 2. they all pitch in, even the 2 year old. This way, I can be freed up to give them what they actually need. Give them as much responsibility as they can be taught, you'd be surprised. Everything I do here, I ask myself, can THEY do this? Everything they ask for, I say, you can get it yourself, or you can wait.

Capable, responsible children are trained, they don't just appear. Next advice.

Pick your battles. You've heard this. I mean everywhere. Do I NEED or WANT this. What are my priorities, kids with impeccable matching outfits, clean rooms and the ability to NEVER bicker? Or kids who are polite, helpful and can work out their problems themselves without fisticuffs and screaming? Refer to the last advice on this. Teach them the boundaries of interpersonal behavior with you and each other, and stick to it! It may take until they're 18, but, well, it's our job. For ourselves, do we CARE if the house is immaculate, or will this wait? Sometimes I wish I had time for manicures and salons, but usually I'd rather just not go out. I have shoes to make and the kids have teen group, plus I MUST have dinner on the table every night. Learn how to say "no" everywhere in your life.

A confession: Sometimes I stay up until 2 am, JUST to get some alone time. Socializing online is addictive, I'm sure you all know. My biggest hurdle to reach before school starts is to know when to STOP, and go to sleep. I can keep making shoes, promoting, tweeting. All night. Must stop doing this.

One last thing. This is a huge issue for many women I talk to. It may be controversial for some since we've been weaned on feminism, but for 20 years it's worked for me with boundless returns. And I've seen the opposite NOT work. It's about our husbands. They're men, so it's simple. If the hubby/partner situation is a problem in juggling home/family/business/sanity, stop and think. Do you fill his love bank with what he REALLY needs? Because honestly, it's simple with most reasonable men. They need very little, really. Do they come home to the chaos we've dealt with all day? If we're working, they understand, most of the time, but if there's food on the table, a little love and attention ("I APPRECIATE your help SO much honey, you're my HERO!!"), goes a long way, and to not have to listen to the minutia of each small issue we're totally wired to deal with amongst our friends and female relatives. If you need something, just ask for it. They don't need the story, or hints, or resentments, it doesn't work anyway! Another great piece of advice, and this is a HUGE secret; if you want something done, start doing it yourself. Even if you can't. In the end, either you will be proud of the work you did, or he'll jump in and help. Men are doers, not listeners. Think of the teacher on the Peanuts cartoons. That is what we sound like to most men.

Disclaimer: This advice does not cover each situation and is not meant to. We all need to know how much we can handle, and handle what we take on. My daughter will not melt if she doesn't have dance lessons, and hubby will have to iron his own shirts. I have boundaries, you know.

Thank you Mom!

I got out of the elevator at work today, and almost ran smack into somebody. He then moved "out of my way" but was in fact "in the way" again! As I untangled myself, and walked away, I said a silent "Thank you" to my mom. Why? Keep reading!

My mom has some quirky, and rather interesting views on strange things in life. Oftentimes they are the little things. Now that I'm getting older and have children of my own, I'm learning that maybe they weren't so little in the first place. Here's the "little things" that I've learned to do in life thanks to my mom.

* Don't slow down until you are actually in the Left Turn lane, unless you have to! Those people who start slowing down a mile away from their entrance to the lane... drive me crazy!

* The one who've been waiting for... When waiting for an elevator, DO NOT stand right in front of the doors! Stand back in case someone is getting off. It's not like the doors will close on you in 2 seconds! I find myself teaching my children this little tip!

* My husband laughs at me when I do this- or even when I mention it- but it is very helpful to cut your spaghetti before eating it! Less messy!

* My mother used to have a miraculous power of "turning off" rain while we were driving. Now, my own kids are amazed when I can turn it off too... when we're going under a bridge! :)

I'm sure I've gotten lots of other habits and ways of thinking from my mom. I know I was blessed by it, and so will my kids! After all; she's my mom!

COMMENTS: What are some "little things" that you learned from your mom? Share your thoughts!

So thoughtful

Imagine adopting a dog from the shelter, and then, 10 years later, sending out a message to the original owner! I found this posted on Craig's List. It is one of the nicest things I've seen in awhile, and I hope that somehow, the original owners will see it.

10 YEARS AGO AT THE HUMANE SOCIETY

Ten years ago, in tears, you turned your beloved dog over to the Bellevue Humane Society. You had to move and your 3 year old dog could not go with you. The workers said that you (a man) cried as you left her there. You even told the folks at the humane society that she was half chow, half lab...One look at this fuzzy brindle pooch and you knew there was no such thing as a brindle chow OR lab..but there are brindle pitbulls...with a pit face, funny looking tiger stripes and lots of fur, I'm certain you thought this was going to be the end of the line for her.

What you need to know is that my best friend adopted her. My friend called me and said, "now, you have to get past her looks...she REALLY is sweet." Sure enough, she was sweet and for the next 10 years of her life lived the life you had hoped she would have. Her life was filled with swims, playmates, early morning walks, car rides, hikes and lots of love. She died in her bereaved owner's arms last Saturday, succumbing to the affects of advanced liver disease.

When she was adopted, it was obvious she had been loved and cared for..impeccable manners, good basic training and she really wanted to please. I hope you see this post so that you know that you did the right thing in surrendering her and can stop wondering. She lived the life she deserved.