Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Friday, September 4, 2009

I need help with bedtime- badly!!!


Okay, so here's the long story!
I have 3 kids: 6, 41/2, and 3yrs old. They all share the same room. There is no way to split them up- we only have 2 bedrooms.

We were bad parents, and have been giving them milk to fall asleep with. We just stopped that 2 weeks ago.


Now, bedtimes have always been a crazy, tantrum producing time. They don't settle- they play, talk, get up... I often am yelling at them many times before they fall asleep.

Now that we don't do milk, it's even crazier. They are not falling asleep until 11 or later, and having to get up early to get the oldest to school is killing them. They are soooo grumpy all day because they are tired.

So, now they have a mom who yells and is grumpy at bedtime, and then a no-fun day because everyone is grumpy.

Help!! Any good bedtime techniques that work for you? I'm at my rope's end!


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Monday, August 31, 2009

Those kids...

Don't you hate it when someone tells a joke that has to be explained? Well, I'm about to. Michael said the funniest thing at dinner tonight, but it requires some background. Sorry!

*We play the "Animal Game" in the car. Describe an animal, and the others guess it.
*We have 2 cats. A black/white cat, "Brigham", who is our lover cat. Then there is "Wednesday", part Siamese, who is our devil cat. Seriously.

Lately our game has turned into the following dialogue: prompted by McKenzie (3yr):
"It's (the animal to be guessed) black and white... nice...it is Brigham!!!" This is hilarious in itself, since she does either cat every time, and never lets us guess. Last night in the car, we did all Black and White animals, just to be funny.



So...fast forward to dinner tonight. Dad starts the game..."What's black and white..." Michael immediately thinks he'll be funny and shouts "Brigham!"

A few more guesses and laughs later, it's Dad's turn again. He starts to describe Wednesday.

"What is brown and white..."
"Brigham!!!" yells the kids.
"No...BROWN and white...and hisses when she gets mad."
Michael promptly responds: "MOM!"

Yeah... game over.


Friday, August 28, 2009

On Juggling and Surfing



Written by Guest Blogger Audrey, from Kaboogie.etsy.com
Kids property of Krista! lol

As a mom of 6, I know many think my situation can't be like theirs. After all, SIX kids has to be nearly impossible! I must be insane, running to and fro like a lunatic all day! I must have some mom secret no one else has! How can I juggle a home business, homeschooling and keeping a home, not to mention keeping hubby happy? I'm SUPER mom!

Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. Or, perhaps, It is ALL true. I'm going to give you some big secrets. You won't find this in any supermarket self help book, e-newsletter or $10 e-book online. Oh, and I'm not a P.H.D. in child "anything", so you may not want to bet your life on this advice. Here is advice #1, and it's not even my advice, a friend got it from a mom of 300 in the park one day.

You're going to screw it up. Yes. Somewhere along the line, you're going to do it wrong. Now, get over it. Move on, you have too much to do to worry about whether your kids will need counseling because you didn't bring them to enough play dates or have a perfect home.
Next piece of advice. This will help you deal with advice #1.

Your kids will love you anyway. My mom always told me, if you give them equal parts love and discipline, they will be balanced. They are not keeping score, you'll just know. This brings me to the next advice.

You have to discipline your kids. They will not break. They actually appreciate knowing who is in control. This goes beyond "please don't touch that stove or run into the street." This means when you say "wait", they wait. When you say "ask me once, and don't whine", they do it because they know you mean what you say, you'll do it, on your time, when you can. This does teach them to respect other people's boundaries. This will be painful at first, but the best training I ever gave my kids was that they better not carry on once I say something. It takes longer with some than others, and consequences were quick and sometimes painful (no, not just spanking), but it works. This sounds harsh, but things run smoothly when, 1. they do as they are told immediately and 2. they all pitch in, even the 2 year old. This way, I can be freed up to give them what they actually need. Give them as much responsibility as they can be taught, you'd be surprised. Everything I do here, I ask myself, can THEY do this? Everything they ask for, I say, you can get it yourself, or you can wait.

Capable, responsible children are trained, they don't just appear. Next advice.

Pick your battles. You've heard this. I mean everywhere. Do I NEED or WANT this. What are my priorities, kids with impeccable matching outfits, clean rooms and the ability to NEVER bicker? Or kids who are polite, helpful and can work out their problems themselves without fisticuffs and screaming? Refer to the last advice on this. Teach them the boundaries of interpersonal behavior with you and each other, and stick to it! It may take until they're 18, but, well, it's our job. For ourselves, do we CARE if the house is immaculate, or will this wait? Sometimes I wish I had time for manicures and salons, but usually I'd rather just not go out. I have shoes to make and the kids have teen group, plus I MUST have dinner on the table every night. Learn how to say "no" everywhere in your life.

A confession: Sometimes I stay up until 2 am, JUST to get some alone time. Socializing online is addictive, I'm sure you all know. My biggest hurdle to reach before school starts is to know when to STOP, and go to sleep. I can keep making shoes, promoting, tweeting. All night. Must stop doing this.

One last thing. This is a huge issue for many women I talk to. It may be controversial for some since we've been weaned on feminism, but for 20 years it's worked for me with boundless returns. And I've seen the opposite NOT work. It's about our husbands. They're men, so it's simple. If the hubby/partner situation is a problem in juggling home/family/business/sanity, stop and think. Do you fill his love bank with what he REALLY needs? Because honestly, it's simple with most reasonable men. They need very little, really. Do they come home to the chaos we've dealt with all day? If we're working, they understand, most of the time, but if there's food on the table, a little love and attention ("I APPRECIATE your help SO much honey, you're my HERO!!"), goes a long way, and to not have to listen to the minutia of each small issue we're totally wired to deal with amongst our friends and female relatives. If you need something, just ask for it. They don't need the story, or hints, or resentments, it doesn't work anyway! Another great piece of advice, and this is a HUGE secret; if you want something done, start doing it yourself. Even if you can't. In the end, either you will be proud of the work you did, or he'll jump in and help. Men are doers, not listeners. Think of the teacher on the Peanuts cartoons. That is what we sound like to most men.

Disclaimer: This advice does not cover each situation and is not meant to. We all need to know how much we can handle, and handle what we take on. My daughter will not melt if she doesn't have dance lessons, and hubby will have to iron his own shirts. I have boundaries, you know.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thank you Mom!

I got out of the elevator at work today, and almost ran smack into somebody. He then moved "out of my way" but was in fact "in the way" again! As I untangled myself, and walked away, I said a silent "Thank you" to my mom. Why? Keep reading!

My mom has some quirky, and rather interesting views on strange things in life. Oftentimes they are the little things. Now that I'm getting older and have children of my own, I'm learning that maybe they weren't so little in the first place. Here's the "little things" that I've learned to do in life thanks to my mom.

* Don't slow down until you are actually in the Left Turn lane, unless you have to! Those people who start slowing down a mile away from their entrance to the lane... drive me crazy!

* The one who've been waiting for... When waiting for an elevator, DO NOT stand right in front of the doors! Stand back in case someone is getting off. It's not like the doors will close on you in 2 seconds! I find myself teaching my children this little tip!

* My husband laughs at me when I do this- or even when I mention it- but it is very helpful to cut your spaghetti before eating it! Less messy!

* My mother used to have a miraculous power of "turning off" rain while we were driving. Now, my own kids are amazed when I can turn it off too... when we're going under a bridge! :)

I'm sure I've gotten lots of other habits and ways of thinking from my mom. I know I was blessed by it, and so will my kids! After all; she's my mom!

COMMENTS: What are some "little things" that you learned from your mom? Share your thoughts!

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Aloha Friday: School-Night Bedtimes

I found this great post on Alas 3 lads blog, and she gave me permission to post it here as well! Enjoy!


It's time for Aloha Friday. A time to take it easy and post something quick and easy for you to answer.

My topic this week is school-night bedtimes. Our kids started back to school on Tuesday. I have to admit, it was a little bit of a shock to the system - getting back into the early morning routines. I'm a night owl by nature; I love to stay up late and then sleep in. During the summer, my kids are pretty much the same way. Now that school has started back, here's the schedule we aim for:

Our 8, 11, and 13 yr. olds in bed by 9:00 pm (they catch bus at 7:30 am and 8:30 am)

Our 16 yr. old in bed by 11:00 pm (he leaves for school at 6:30 am)

Here are my questions for you:

1. If you have kids, what are their bedtimes?

2. Do they have the same bedtime all year or do they change during the school year?

3. If you have more than one child, do you give them different bedtimes according to age?



~For more Aloha Friday, be sure and visit An Island Life

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Get ready for school!

So, now you have your new schedule. What happens with all of those "extra" things that pop up? Here's some hints to start the school year out right!

Buy a Calendar: Simple, right? As soon as a note comes home from school with an event on it, jot it down on the calendar! Papers can get lost, but a calendar nailed to the wall, or stuck in your purse, will not. I found this great site yesterday, and I want one! Busy Body Book

Stock up: The first week or two of school can be hectic. Especially in the morning, trying to get everyone out of the house. So, plan ahead! Make sure you have enough breakfast food, food for packed lunches, and quick dinners if needed. Pack lunches before bedtime the night before.

Use Weekends: Use the weekends to get ready for the week ahead. Plan entire wardrobes for the coming week, so you won't be rushing around looking for your child's socks! Iron and wash whatever you might need. Go grocery shopping with a menu. Make extra food, and freeze it for quick dinners.

Do you have any other tips for a smooth school day? Let us know!


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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Play dough!


Playdough is one of our favorite things. It is quick and easy to make, and the kids spend hours molding, cutting, and generally making a mess!

Now, not only is this time great for mom to get some things done, it helps the kids learn and grow as well!

This is the best recipe for playdough. Now, I might be biased, since this is what I grew up playing with, but I've tried other recipes too. This one's the best!

Playdough
1 cup Flour
1/2 cup Salt (yes, really)
1 teas. Cream of tartar
Mix these ingredients together in a medium sized pan.
In a measuring cup mix together:
1 cup water
1 TB Oil
Food Coloring (dye or Kool-aid!)
Mix wet ingredients in with the dry, and mix thoroughly.
Heat the mixture on medium, stirring until it becomes a dough.
Knead until smooth.
Play!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Back to School Schedule


Schedule, Schedule, Schedule.
Written by Krista


So, "they" say that kids like structure. I know this is true...it's just hard to follow!

My oldest goes back to school in a few weeks. (1st grade! Yikes!) We have a pretty crazy schedule, and I would like to see some structure.

So, I’m going to post a schedule here, and then try it for one week!
I challenge you to sit down and make a schedule too!
Let me know how it works for you!


My School Schedule
Wake up until 1pm: Wake, dress, eat, play with Dad. (Mom is at work)
1:00-2:30 Lunch, activities with 2 younger kids. "Preschool" time
2:30-3:15 Pick up Tanner from school.
3:15-4:30 Free play
4:30 Reading time/Homework time
6:00 Dinner
After dinner play, clean, bedtime. (hubby works afternoons/evenings. Gets home at 10pm)


So…the challenge is on! Add your link to the comments if you accept the schedule challenge! Blog your schedule, and the results!

Discussion:
What kind of schedule do you have? What is your biggest obstacle to keeping to a schedule? Any fun ideas to add to my schedule?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Muffin Tin Monday

By Bonnie

So I am taking some time off from baking.....and I am spending ALOT of time with my family!

Hence....

MUFFIN TIN MONDAY!

Here is the blog behind the muffin tin greatness: ( her image is on the right column!)

http://michellesjournalcorner.blogspot.com/

So the theme is Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

I had to make 2 "trays" up. Sadie didn't care for green so I found some pink muffin liners for hers. I made a marshmallow airplane with pecan wings, a graham cracker traffic light, teddy graham pit crew with cheerio tires, a cucumber railroad, a peanut butter mud hazard with celery flag and granola with sprinkles for the after race celebration :o)


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Routines...

Written by Bonnie

Routines…..Schedules…..Lists….whatever you call them, they are important!

There are a lot of underlying aspects that are included in schedules and routines. Steps to take that make us feel better about ourselves. Time management opens up free-time and lessons anxiety. Goals, fighting procrastination and routines go hand in hand with self-esteem.

Set daily, weekly and long-term goals for yourself. When you accomplish your daily goals you are one step closer to reaching your weekly goal, and when you get to your weekly goal you are closer to your long term goal! Baby steps and setting obtainable goals are the key to your success!

Don’t say “I’m going to clean the house”, instead say “I am going to wipe down the sink” and the rest will follow. Make detailed lists: Wipe down sink, wipe down shower, clean toilet, clean floors, and take out laundry. Cross each off as they get done. When you’re done the bathroom is clean and your list is all crossed off! Feels good right?

Sometimes as mom’s we don’t feel like we are appreciated. Go ahead and save up your cleaning lists to show to your husband when he gets home. When you feel like you’re “not worth anything” go back and look at you’re crossed off lists and see all that you do accomplish and have accomplished!

Avoid procrastination! It does nothing but cause anxiety! Maintain your focus! Don’t put something off when you know you shouldn’t. Be aware of the ease you feel when you get your work done ahead of time or on schedule, as opposed to the anxiety you feel when you wait until the last minute. Think of this feeling the next time you want to procrastinate.

Routines and schedules are my rock! I never had a routine until I became a mom. I know exactly when it happened too. I was sitting in that hospital bed with my new baby and the “breastfeeding expert” came to talk to me, with her feeding schedule and diaper check off list. Well that was it. Ever since November 18, 2005 I have had routine. It has remained constant but with change. Such as I still wake up at the crack of dawn and we still eat lunch at 12 noon, but naptimes have changed and the kids have weekly activities now. Also, when I started school again now, I got to put some “me time” into the routine, when I go online for school and when I write papers etc. Bottom line is I would be lost without my routine. I have been doing it so long now though, that when a “weird day” comes up, it’s really no problem to get back on track the next day.

Goal setting and routines help you maintain your focus. When you maintain focus, you succeed. When you succeed, your self-esteem rises. When your self-esteem rises, you have the desire to have more focus!

Here is an example of my routine/schedule:

Monday:

6 am-wake up, exercise, shower, have coffee, read the paper, and check email

7am- kids are up, clean them and feed them play and clean until noon

12 Noon – lunch time! Clean and play until naptime

2 pm- Naptime for kids and school time for me

5 pm- get kids up (if they aren’t already) start dinner

6 pm- eat dinner, play, and talk to husband J

8 pm- kids to bed finish up schoolwork, any cleaning, and hang with husband J

Tuesday:

6 am-wake up, exercise, shower, have coffee, read the paper, and check email

7 am- kids are up, clean them and feed them, and get crock pot going

10 am- Library time! Go to market, other errands, and home by noon

12 Noon – lunch time! Clean and play until naptime

1:30 pm- Naptime for kids and school time for me

3:30 pm– get kids up and dressed for gymnastics

4:30 pm- gymnastics until 5:30

6 pm- eat dinner, play, and talk to husband J

8 pm- kids to bed finish up schoolwork, any cleaning, and hang with husband J

Wednesday:

6 am-wake up, exercise, shower, have coffee, read the paper, and check email

7 am- kids are up, clean them and feed them and play

10 am – go to movies (free movies for kids in the summer)

12 Noon – lunch time! Clean and play until naptime

2 pm- Naptime for kids and school time for me

5 pm- get kids up (if they aren’t already) start dinner

6 pm- eat dinner, play, and talk to husband J

8 pm- kids to bed finish up schoolwork, any cleaning, and hang with husband J

Thursday:

6 am-wake up, exercise, shower, have coffee, read the paper, and check email

7 am- kids are up, clean them and feed them play and clean until noon

12 Noon – lunch time! Clean and play until naptime

2 pm- Naptime for kids and school time for me

5 pm- get kids up (if they aren’t already) start dinner

6 pm- eat dinner, play, and talk to husband J

8 pm- kids to bed finish up schoolwork, any cleaning, and hang with husband J

Friday:

6 am-wake up, exercise, shower, have coffee, read the paper, and check email

7 am- kids are up, clean them and feed them play and clean until noon

12 Noon – lunch time! Clean and play until naptime

2 pm- Naptime for kids and school time for me

5 pm- get kids up (if they aren’t already) start dinner

6 pm- eat dinner, play, and talk to husband J

8 pm- kids to bed finish up schoolwork, any cleaning, and hang with husband J

Saturday and Sunday:

Look for babysitters!

Have a date with husband J

Play as a family!

Get dinner schedule ready for the week!

Go to the market as a family!

Have husband J take kids out so MOM CAN HAVE ALONE TIME!

Watch all week as we explore different schedules, and different techniques. Join us tomorrow with a link to YOUR schedule!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

What do I do with my kids?

This is a very common question in our house. I always wanted to be the mom with activities galore. A new project every day. And of course, with a perfectly clean house, well-dressed children, and plenty of time to relax. Hmmm… in what world?

My kids are 6, 41/2, and 3. The advantage to their closeness is that they usually play well together. There are times when I think I should be playing with them, but they are doing so well together…why interfere?

Here are some of the activities that we do, or need to do more of, in our house.

Kids learn best through Playing. It is their “job” to play! They learn interaction, social etiquette, and communication. They learn about their world and their place in it.

Play dough I do believe that Play dough is the best invention ever! It only takes about 10 minutes to make, and the kids play with it for HOURS! Not only is it a good “mommy needs to get stuff done” activity, but play dough is a great toy for building coordination, creativity, and learning. (Look for a great play dough recipe coming soon!)


Sorting There are a million ways to sort a million things! A fun game is to grab a bag of M&M’s or Skittles and some containers, and let the kids sort. They can sort by color and number. They can learn math. My next activity with my kids will involve skittles. I’ll post pics! Here’s my game plan.

McKenzie is 3. She will sort by color.

Michael is the 41/2 yr old. For him, I will put random numbers on a piece of paper, or in the bottom of a paper bowl, and have him put that many candies in.

Tanner is 6. He will work on his math, by setting up groupings, and working with a worksheet.

The really fun part is to see how quickly the candy is “Subtracted” into their mouths!

Music Music plays such an important role in our lives. Children love music. This is something that I need to improve in my house. When the kids are playing with their play dough, or sorting, soft music can play in the background! It can be classical; it can be a selection of fun kid songs. Music is proven to get your mind working, and developing. Dancing to the music helps physical development, as well as coordination. Letting them PLAY music is fun too! Have a craft day to make your own drums and maraca’s! Then have a parade or concert!

Cook together Kids in the kitchen can be a true adventure. Prepare for everything to take twice as long, and to be twice as messy! The benefits from this activity are enormous though. The kid’s excitement level is contagious, and will get all of you laughing. Math and science are found in the kitchen. Memories are made as the kitchen warms up, laughter and stories are shared, and something is created together.

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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Building chapels

I received this story in my email one day, and it made me cry. I hope it gives you some inspiration, and makes you want to do better.

Go hug your kids!
Washington National Cathedral

Invisible Mother


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'

I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave theirwhole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'

And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.

But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.

As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.

And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM! Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know. The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. The Invisible Mother.

It's the things we achieve through God that gives us our joys in life.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Park day!


"Mom?" Whines the 3yr old. "I wanna go to the park!" She demands over and over.

So, after 30 minutes of redressing the boys (who like to go almost-commando), getting shoes on, and deciding who gets to ride which bikes, we are off!

Luckily we are within walking distance of a good park. The weather is nice today, with a breeze, so we make it there without any complaints.

The boys run off to play Pirates on the tall tower. I push McKenzie in the swing. It all seems nice and relaxing until... dun dun dun...McKenzie remembers that there is another park we can walk to!
"MOM! Let's go to other park" Let the whining/screaming/tantrum ensue.

Now, normally we would go to the other one. But the boys decide that they are done. So, we gather our rocks, leaves, flowers, and all other mother nature items that they decide belong in our house, and take off towards home...

With McKenzie throwing a tantrum the whole way home.

If Child Services shows up at my door today...you know why.

So..take a gander at the poll over to the right. What kind of Park Mom are you?
Do you welcome the time when all your kids are playing and read your favorite book?
Do you run and climb and slide with your kids?
Do you sit and only get up if they INSIST on going on the swing?
No wrong answers! I've been guilty of all of them!


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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Balloon Fun!

Michael, Tanner, McKenzie. My babies!

Balloon Fun!

We went to a parade float showing a few weeks ago. The kids got balloon animals. Tanner's popped upon leaving the venue.
I learned some balloon "artistry" when I was in high school, so I promised them that we would buy a kit and do it ourselves! Tanner reminded me about that yesterday, so we were off to the party store!

We purchased a bag of 100 balloons, a hand pump, and an instruction booklet. The total was around $16.00.
They played with the balloons for HOURS! My fingers were very sore by the end of the day!

How's that for cheap entertainment?